The Brand-less’ Woes

Posted by: me on: March 7, 2010

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“4 for $10! 4 for $10!” shouted the shopkeeper, trying to clear her stock of brand-less slippers.

The colourful slippers hung on a rack behind her. One of them was very unhappy. Let’s call it Size 35 Red for it was brand-less and hence lacked a name. It was unhappy because it did not like itself being sold so cheaply. Why, it thought, even the CottonOn ones managed to go at $5 per pair and the Havaianas are still selling at an outrageous $26.60 despite their buy-2-get-1-free promotion!

Size 35 Red felt shortchanged.

We are all rubber slippers made from rubber trees in Malaysian plantations and we have the same job scope, same function, same quality and same design. Why do they fetch a higher price than me?

The more Size 35 thought about this unjust treatment, the angrier it became.

I, the slipper, tolerated being stepped on by smelly sweaty feet, dragged along hard, rough concrete floors and being constantly submerged under seawater. I even put up with being sunk in mud and having my bottom sitting in pools of urine on the public toilet floor. I endured quietly and never complained even when I was left outside the house and watched as High Heels and Leather Shoes being place upon the revered shoe rack in the house. I willingly endure all the hardship, suffering in silence as the wear and tear erode me thin, and this is how I am repaid? Being sold for a measly $2.50, is that it?!

Size 35 Red was shouting at the top of its lungs and made itself quite red in the face. Sadly the woman could not hear it and its efforts to show its displeasure went down the drain. It was at this moment an elephant of a woman came to buy slippers.

“I do love slippers!” she crooned in a whiny voice to the shopkeeper who was hovering around the woman constantly, hoping to please her into buying some slippers. “They make my feet look pretty,” giggled the elephant woman in her irritating, girly giggle and the shopkeeper laughed along politely.

Size 35 Red shot its size 37 and above brothers a pitying look for this big sized woman would surely be getting a big sized slipper. One of the slipper’s worse nightmare is to be bought by big sized humans because the additional weight made them breathless and they erode quicker.

“I think I would take this nice little red one,” the elephant woman said and Size 35 Red felt itself being lifted off the hook. “Isn’t it a darling?” gushed the elephant woman. “Gosh, it’s slightly redder than the rest! I simply must have this!”

Size 35 was shocked at this sudden change of events and before it had time to react, it was stuffed into a plain red plastic bag along with 3 other size 35 slippers and sold for $10. It turned out that even though the elephant woman was big in size, she had nice petite size 35 feet that she was very proud of. Hence she loved wearing slippers as they allowed her to show her feet off.

Poor Size 35 Red was full of dread as it thought about his future. It was made worse by its cheap selling price. It felt it didn’t get the recognition it deserved. It even contemplated suicide but suicide is rather difficult for rubber slippers. They do not die from jumping off buildings and drowning is of no use too. The only way to die is to set yourself on fire. Size 35 Red lacked the courage to do so, and was thus condemned to fate of serving under elephant legs.

So if you ever see an elephant of a woman wearing red size 35 slippers, please do rescue Size 35 Red from her clutches. It would be eternally grateful to you.